This fantastic parody was originally found on this site and shown to me by a mutual friend.

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW:

I am the very model of a modern movie buccaneer,
When playing Captain Jack, it's like a Rolling Stone has snuck in here,
Although the script has major holes that you could drive a truck through, dear,
I know the slightly druggy stance will still advance my film career.

I'm very well acquainted, too, with characters satanical,
The whole gamut, from A to Z, from putz to puritanical,
But here I am, again, alongside extras wearing manacles
To save us all, once more, from foes impressively tyrannical

ALL:

To save us all, once more, from foes impressively tyrannical!

CAPTAIN JACK:

I'm very good at slightly otherworldly folk like Scissorhands;
My Michael Jackson made a breeze of Willy Wonka's businessman:
I won Winona over then tattooed her on my arm, just here
I am the very model of a modern movie buccaneer.

ALL:

He won Winona over then tattooed her on his arm, just here,
He is the very model of a modern movie buccaneer!


CAPTAIN JACK:

I know our filmic history, my Bogarts and Oliviers;
I've dazzled many critics with my acting sensibilité,
I've never won an Oscar, but, although you'll think this sad of me,
I've played on an Oasis song, so balls to the Academy!

I play iconic loners with astounding versatility
My Ed Wood was a tour de force in black and white (and lingerie),
Let he who doubts my principles, or questions my abilty,
Be beaten back, confounded by my impeturbability.

ALL:

Be beaten back, confounded by his impeturbability!

CAPTAIN JACK:


I had to cut the N A from "Winona", leaving "Wino" there
Wino Forever's not so nice, but - what the devil? - c'est la guerre
It hasn't stopped me going out with models and celebrities:
The latest one to catch my heart is that Vanessa Paradis.

ALL:

It hasn't stopped him going out with models and celebrities:
The latest one to catch his heart is that Vanessa Paradis!

CAPTAIN JACK:

Yes, I am the very model of a modern movie buccaneer
In Pirates of the Caribbean Two I pushed my luck, I fear:
I briefly contemplated making Captain Jack a Muskateer,
Like Gerard Depardieu, but with a kind of Friar Tuck veneer.
I realise that playing Keith is what will make the kiddies cheer,
And send my earnings soaring higher, way above the stratosphere
So Keith it is, once more unto the breach we go, once more, my dear:
I am the very model of a modern movie buccaneer.

ALL:

He is the very model of a modern movie buccaneer!

Posted at 12:37 AM #

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With Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan

This fantastic parody was originally found on this site and shown to me by a mutual friend.

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW:

I am the very model of a modern movie buccaneer,
When playing Captain Jack, it's like a Rolling Stone has snuck in here,
Although the script has major holes that you could drive a truck through, dear,
I know the slightly druggy stance will still advance my film career.

I'm very well acquainted, too, with characters satanical,
The whole gamut, from A to Z, from putz to puritanical,
But here I am, again, alongside extras wearing manacles
To save us all, once more, from foes impressively tyrannical

ALL:

To save us all, once more, from foes impressively tyrannical!

CAPTAIN JACK:

I'm very good at slightly otherworldly folk like Scissorhands;
My Michael Jackson made a breeze of Willy Wonka's businessman:
I won Winona over then tattooed her on my arm, just here
I am the very model of a modern movie buccaneer.

ALL:

He won Winona over then tattooed her on his arm, just here,
He is the very model of a modern movie buccaneer!


CAPTAIN JACK:

I know our filmic history, my Bogarts and Oliviers;
I've dazzled many critics with my acting sensibilité,
I've never won an Oscar, but, although you'll think this sad of me,
I've played on an Oasis song, so balls to the Academy!

I play iconic loners with astounding versatility
My Ed Wood was a tour de force in black and white (and lingerie),
Let he who doubts my principles, or questions my abilty,
Be beaten back, confounded by my impeturbability.

ALL:

Be beaten back, confounded by his impeturbability!

CAPTAIN JACK:


I had to cut the N A from "Winona", leaving "Wino" there
Wino Forever's not so nice, but - what the devil? - c'est la guerre
It hasn't stopped me going out with models and celebrities:
The latest one to catch my heart is that Vanessa Paradis.

ALL:

It hasn't stopped him going out with models and celebrities:
The latest one to catch his heart is that Vanessa Paradis!

CAPTAIN JACK:

Yes, I am the very model of a modern movie buccaneer
In Pirates of the Caribbean Two I pushed my luck, I fear:
I briefly contemplated making Captain Jack a Muskateer,
Like Gerard Depardieu, but with a kind of Friar Tuck veneer.
I realise that playing Keith is what will make the kiddies cheer,
And send my earnings soaring higher, way above the stratosphere
So Keith it is, once more unto the breach we go, once more, my dear:
I am the very model of a modern movie buccaneer.

ALL:

He is the very model of a modern movie buccaneer!