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     Monday, July 24, 2006

    Three mountains in an hour on a gutless scooter
    Saturday morning I attended one of the strangest folky traditions of all: A wassail. Basically, this involves drinking a lot of scrumpy and dancing around an apple tree. You can see why it appeals, hey?

    Anyway, I trundled up to Mt Barker for this on my little scooter. This is even funnier than you might think. It was so slow at times I very nearly considered pushing with my legs, Flinstones style, to help it move along. Either way, I had a ball. It was bloody freezing and I was all rugged up with a beanie on under the helmet. I had my MD-Man churning out the tunes. There was a brilliant moment where I was chugging up a steep slope, with beautiful scrub around me on either side, and I was screaming out the lyrics to "Bitches and Shit" (The Ben Folds one, of course). Hehe. If you don't know the song then I think you should make an effort to hear it sometime. It's great! I always empathise (with deliberate misinterpretation) the "She found herself short" line. Cause, well, I do.

    So, I took on Norton Summit and Mount Lofty (well most of the way up, anyway) and then hooned off down Greenhill Road and took on Mount Barker. So, that's like three mountains in an hour on a gutless scooter. Cool! Oh and let's not forget that I got to ride Tregarthen road on the scooter. I was tempted to put my legs up in a V shape and squeal as I did it (This road is a rollercoaster, seriously) but instead I just giggled a lot.

    I managed to see the sun rise over Basket Range from Carey Gully.. and then after going through Verdun and Hahndorf (Which were below freezing) I saw the sun rise from Hahndorf as well. Two sunrises! Yay!

    But, going back to Verdun and Hahndorf being extremely cold. I came down to Verdun thinking "Oh what pretty mist" and forgetting that that meant it was FREEZING down there. The temperature dropped by about 10 degrees the whole time I was down there. I nearly died. My legs were stinging and I couldn't bend my fingers to brake. Badness! I actually had to sort of throw the dead weight of my hand over the brakes, bend my wrist and pull my arm back in order to brake. Scary! When I finally got to Mount Barker I was basking in the sunlight thinking "Warmth! Finally! It's so warm!" until I saw the temperature - It was only 3 degrees!! Eek! Verdun and Hahndorf must have been well below zero. I can't believe I used to live there!

    So, the trip up was great and the ensuing wassail was great. But then I had one of the scariest experiences of my life. I accidentally took the freeway on the way back. Now, I'm not actually even sure scooters are allowed on the freeway. But even if they are.. I really don't recommend it. I nearly died. I spent the whole time checking my mirrors to see if people were going to go around me or just try to drive straight through me. This might seem overly paranoid, but when you are travelling at half the speed of the traffic coming up from behind.. trust me it's worth worrying about. After several near misses from cars travelling way too fast I was starting to panic a lot. But then I was faced with trucks. I worry about truck drivers. Especially when they're near the city. I figure by then they've taken loads of speed and haven't slept in days. All the more reason to avoid them. So, I see this truck coming up behind me and I start worrying a lot. I also realise that this truck has made no move to indicate around me and is heading to squash me flat. So I did the only sensible thing left to do: I drove off the side of the freeway and screamed. So I was off to the left of the left hand lane screaming at the truck as it passed me WAY too close. Asshole. Total Asshole.

    So, Think once. Think twice. Think "Don't drive your scooter on the freeway".

    Posted at 2:08 AM #

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